As humans, it is our natural tendency to attempt to control what goes on in our lives. We attempt to control every minute of our days for fear of what may happen if we let things fall in their natural order.
I understand the desire to make sure everything runs smoothly and is in line, that all of the pieces of my life are perfectly maintained, and that people fit into my life seamlessly. With OCD and anorexia, I have tried everything I could imagine to control my life. Whether it was my body, the people around me, the events in a day, or transitions, I found my stress increasing as my grip tightened on my life. I didn’t realize that the tighter my hold became, the more my life began to shatter and break down. I lost friends, opportunities, my sanity, and any hope for a life worth living.
But for those of us who seek that need to handle everything in our lives: we are not controlling anything.
It is a hard pill to swallow, and many will scoff at my claim as they convince themselves otherwise. It is true that there are many things in our lives that we can control, but the list is much shorter than we’d like to believe.
In fact, there are exactly four things we can control: our actions, our responses to adversity, our attitude, and our work ethic. We can make choices, but we cannot always control the outcome of them. Rather, God is the one who is ultimately in control; once I opened my eyes to the fact that my life belongs to God, I took my first steps at releasing my hold on control.
Let Go of Control
There is an ebb and flow of letting go of control in our lives. It oscillates between firmly holding onto management, releasing our grasp on power, and scrambling to regain control. It is like letting go of a bad habit. We begin to move away from the behavior, realize life is better without it, and then quickly turn to it again when life gets messy and stressful.
But there is a better way.
We have heard the age-old saying, “Let go and let God.” There is so much truth in this phrase because once we let go of what we are trying to control, we let God take over and work His mighty power in our life. It is when we invite Him in do we begin to let go of the perfectionism and stress that come along with wanting the most power over our lives.
God is always in control of our life, whether we like to believe it or not. When we decide to control our lives, we decide to leave behind trusting God. That is not how we are meant to live, nor is it an abundant way to live.
Have Faith
Faith is the complete and utter trust in something. In this regard, it is the absolute trust in God that all things will work out as they must in our lives; the trust that we are held in the hand of God and we will always live abundantly with that knowledge.
When we decide to have faith in God and know that we are exactly where we need to be according to His agenda is when we decide to let go of control. We allow His hands to easily mold our lives as we discontinue resisting Him.
We ask Him for what we want and need, trusting that He will provide, and God always provides. Unfortunately, many get the implication that when we ask for God’s provision, we expect it to be exactly as we envisioned it rather than how He intends it. Thus, we get the result of lessening faith that He will even provide at all.
I found that God’s path for me is the only possible path for me to be walking and live a fulfilling life, it became much easier to accept the fact that I cannot control what comes. I have let go of expectations and assumptions that each day will go exactly as I plan it. This has allowed me to realize how great God’s abundant giving and grace are in my life.
Practice Patience and Recognize Abundance
When we stop trying to mold life as we want, forcing things to be a certain way, the world around us becomes more abundant. There are opportunities for growth, income, connection, creativity, and love that surround us when we let go of how we want things to go.
I find that when I become impatient or worried about work, my next writing piece, the number of hours in my day, or when I’ll see a friend I also try to force these things to fruition. I contact all of the people I know, schedule as many hours of work as possible, and bring an inadequate post to life in order to get the ball rolling. Then, shortly thereafter, God provides all of the things I’ve been worried about, and I become overwhelmed by all that I have already piled onto my plate.
I didn’t have patience, I didn’t realize the amount of providence God already had in store for me, and I didn’t allow myself to recognize or count my blessings.
I tried to take control of outcomes in my life by forcing them to come alive rather than realizing that God has a greater plan the whole time.
Simultaneously, when we are patient, we get to recognize and enjoy the things that are already in our life. We can settle into the quiet times with family, put more of our focus into a project, and become efficient with the work we are doing at the moment. We get to experience the small moments that life has to offer in the spontaneous moments.
The Takeaway
Allow life to take shape around you while you continue to live. Enjoy the small things the world has to offer, taking them as they are rather than trying to change them. Accept that God is always moving around us and creating a beautiful existence for us. There is less pressure, less stress, and less bitterness when we allow this to happen. Instead, there is more peace, more joy, and more love present in our walk of life.