I was recently discussing personal value and purpose with a group of people as someone was struggling with finding their worth as a human on this earth. It began as a very painful topic as there was a sense of despair and frustration with who one is and how one presents themselves in the world. It was disheartening to hear someone else say aloud the things I have so often told myself, especially when I have worked hard to silence that critical voice in my head.
As a Christian, I believe every single person has a purpose on this earth, and each soul has been carefully crafted by God. There are no accidents or slip-ups or mistakes. Rather, each person holds significance on this earth in their own unique way. This in and of itself provides a sense of value and purpose in my life. However, it is a much larger concept to ask people to wrap their minds around than can simply be explained by just a few encouraging sentences.
I have struggled with finding my value and purpose in my day-to-day life. When my eating disorder was its most powerful, running rampantly through my mind and actions, I had no sense of substance or importance in my life. I found myself placing all of my worth into how well I was working, how long I could run, and how well I could hold my head above water. I was putting myself under the impression that I got my fulfillment from all of this arbitrary success with a job, early mornings, and presentability. It was an awful place of impassiveness as I couldn’t find my true value, passion, or purpose in life.
Now, I have worked to find the things that I am able to create, prioritize, or consciously choose in order to make my days fruitful. This has started from identifying my values, visualizing my goals, and praying HARD for my eyes and heart to be open to God’s Will. When I started to make it a daily practice of listing my priorities for the day, I was able to guide my actions toward contentment with how I am showing up in my life and moving toward building a heartening existence.
I also started to realize that the value I hold in a day doesn’t have to be monumental or cause a major shift in the time continuum. Creating small moments that are filled with so much meaning each day has left me feeling like I have more of a purpose on this earth, rather than being stuck in a mindset of passive living. This can be smiling at somebody on the street, giving advice to a friend, listening to somebody talk about their passion, or complimenting the barista at a coffee shop. All of these micro-actions can create such a huge impact on the people around you as well as your own experience of daily living, lifting hearts toward happiness. The hardest thing about this, though, might be that you will never know the effect you have on others. You may never hear from the woman at the store how confident she felt after you complimented her outfit, or the friend you inspired by telling them about a book you’re reading, or the teacher you made feel important by acknowledging their intelligence. They may never tell you about how they thought about your words for weeks or how they considered trying something new just because you encouraged them. Yet, the power of doing so provides your true value and purpose in life.
The most challenging side of cultivating purposeful living is when you don’t feel motivated, energized, or at the top of your game. I have found these days to be the hardest as my inner critic and commanding voice come together and tell me I am not being productive or meaningful in my life. This could be on days that I feel sad, burnt out, or mentally and emotionally exhausted and don’t think I can show up with my full potential in a day. I am unable to find compassion for the mentality I’m in, especially when I want each of my days to be filled with intention. But I have come to learn that even on those days, I have value. I may read a book that sparks inspiration for the day I have more energy, or I may feel compelled to journal and learn about myself, or I may only want to read my Bible that day. All of those things can be what spurs action in my coming days. I might start a conversation with somebody who needs to hear what I learned from reading, or I might speak more confidently on my knowledge. Everything that we do, every day, holds weight in our life and no minute is ever wasted.
Another major challenge I have come to notice in today’s society is the ongoing search for instant gratification. The general population runs on the immediacy of response, reward, and action. It is a reality for us as we have become accustomed to having the world at our fingertips with technology and improved forms of functioning. However, when t comes to creating value and purpose each day, instant gratification cannot be a factor of action. It is so difficult to sit with the notion that what I am doing right now may not bear any fruit for weeks or months. I want to know how my choices and actions are changing who I am, the people around me, and my future. Yet, that is not always possible, and so I sit with the discomfort of not knowing. In the same breath, it is almost exciting to know that each choice I make today, each action I take, each word I breathe, can create such a complex outcome. That is how I know that what I am doing holds value and purpose: every moment is a ripple effect for what is to come in our life.
With mental health, it can be such a challenge to focus on how we find value and purpose in our being each day. I have gone through days of depression when I feel void of reason and removed from function. I have also gone through days when I feel that I am doing everything possible and checking boxes and swiftly moving through life, yet still feel left unfulfilled. These days are the most crucial to find your value and purpose; these days are the ones where we must be with ourselves and know what can help us. On the days where resolution is beyond me and I don’t have the headspace to produce anything, I take the time to check in with myself and come up with ways that I may show up tomorrow, or the next day. I can still formulate ideas for when I am feeling better. I can also use this time to discover what sitting in stillness gives me, providing worth in just being with myself. It’s the smallest of actions that can provide value for the day, but the result won’t be seen until the next day or the next week. I have also seen just how starting one small action with value behind it can begin to uplift my heart and mind, creating a shift in my psyche. On the days where I seem to be doing everything but feel as if I’m doing nothing, I take the time to recognize the value of all that I have done. A good reality check is beneficial for these days as I can get stuck in a cycle of telling myself that I am not doing enough. Making a list, slowing down to check in on intentions, or looking at all that I have physically produced has been so helpful in the moments of worry that I am not creating value in my day.
As I continue to learn from my experiences, develop healthy practices, and form visions for my life, I find that there is value and purpose to be found in every day. It can be life-altering or it can be a simple act, but there is something to be found each time we wake. Life opens up to beautiful opportunities and the mind begins to recognize the blessings that surround us. I encourage everyone to find their value and purpose every day because each human being holds a place on this earth for a reason and we are not fruitless. Text a friend, smile at a stranger, create a piece of art, walk the dog, take pictures of everything beautiful. We are meant to find the golden nuggets of joy, inspiration, and connection in each passing day. Believe in the goodness, believe in yourself, and feel the love.
