The Land Between – the floating area where one is not where they once were, but are not yet where they want to be. In the Bible, we know The Land Between to be the desert. The desert between the horrors of Egypt, and the glorious hope of the Promised Land. We read that people waited in this space for 40 years to be delivered to the glory promised to them. They did not know how patient they would have to be or the lessons of endurance and faith God would present them with. They did not expect the trials they would face or the lessons they would learn. God had a lesson in store for them in this land, and He has one for each of us in our own desert.
I’ve found myself in the desert between where I was and where I am going as I have approached recovery. It is the hardest place to be because I am not as bad as I once was, nor am I at the ideal life I want to live. I see the life in store for me once I reach full recovery. It is a life filled with laughter, flexibility, freedom, joy, and peace. Yet I also know where I am coming from; I come from a place of despair, compulsive behaviors, isolation, loneliness, and destruction. I now land somewhere between these two places, on a balancing point of life in freedom or life in bondage to the disorder.
I have found myself slipping into a mindset of idealism when thinking about my future in God’s promise. I look back at who I was 3 months ago and cannot believe how sick I was, how ill I was, and how stagnant I was in my life. I didn’t know how to feed myself or how to reach out for help. I heard God’s convicting voice in my head, telling me to seek help, to change my ways, and to surrender to Him. I didn’t know this meant leaving my life behind to start my recovery journey again. I didn’t know it would mean going through treatment again, leaving my home to be in a safe place for my process. And I didn’t know that it would place me where I am today, wondering when God will bring me to my Promised Land.
It is in this place that I reflect on the lessons that God has for us in the desert. This is what I have learned in The Land Between.
- God answers prayers according to His Will.
I find it almost humorous how God chooses to answer prayers in this period. I ask for patience and I am given scenarios that test my self-control; I pray for strength and am given trials that challenge me to grow; I pray for endurance and I am given a long journey to walk through.
As frustrating as this may seem, I am grateful for how God chooses to present these blessings because if they were given freely there would be no lasting effect. Just like the Israelites in the desert, I have to learn how to have patience, train to endure struggles. and grow into a stronger version of myself. If God just put me in the Promised Land, I would never have understood what it took to get there and how to maintain that life.
- I cannot rush my process.
In the middle ground between rock bottom and the heavens above, there is a space for impatience to grow. It is the glint in my eye that sees the glory of my future and I can just barely touch it…but I am not there yet. And that is frustrating… But if I have learned anything, it is that slow progress is the best progress.
The slowness that God calls us to be in when waiting on Him is where the sweet blessings shine through. Abiding in the time, relaxing into the flow, and letting God work His will at His own pace is the only way to get where I want to be. When we pause in the place we are in and find gratitude for it, we find that we move toward the next step a lot sooner than we may realize. Without all the time between, I would not be ready for the land I am arriving in.
- Take people with you.
We are never meant to go through life alone. In fact, we are social creatures meant to be in community. We are meant to encourage one another, aid one another, rest with one another, and confide in one another. People are placed into our lives for reasons that we may not understand, but they are there regardless. Bring people with you and let them into your process. Let them hold you up and support you when you are struggling, let them be there as you walk through the desert together. Life becomes so much more beautiful and bearable when we do it together.
- Remain steadfast.
The Land Between is not for the faint of heart; it is barren and vast and can drag anyone down who falls prey to its wilderness. But when we remain steadfast, we keep the long-term results in line of sight. We know that this is only a period we must endure to get to the end results. There is no room for quitting or turning back because there is nothing in the past that can help us; there is a reason we ran from it in the first place. So stay on the path and go through the desert.
In recovery, The Land Between is the space left undefined, the space in which one is not at rock bottom but is not fully “recovered” yet. It is the space of self-discovery, tumultuous work, and endurance. I have come to find that this space is where the real work starts. It is the day-in and day-out decision to keep pushing through challenges and keep my head held high. It may be hard, but it gives way to a beautiful life if only one withstands the desert.