Please Don’t Body Scan Me

Please don’t body scan me. The up-and-down scrape of eyes that portray judgment and analysis in mere seconds is hurtful. It may not be intentional or filled with malice, but it is rooted in measuring my worth and your worth in a snap moment.

As a female, I have experienced several moments when I walk into a room and others immediately sweep their eyes from my head to my feet. I may not be able to read minds, but I know what lies behind the eyes that take in my body. When I was at my highest weight and my lowest weight, I was subject to the glances and realized quickly that there is no end to the body judgment.

In the years I was very insecure in my body, and this perpetuated my fear of having a body that is less than ideal. Words would fly so fast through my mind as I tried to assume what the other person was thinking. I would imagine their thoughts running through nasty adjectives (gross; she’s too fat; she shouldn’t be wearing that; she’s not pretty). Whether this was true or not, those few seconds of eyeing me led to a complete demise in my psyche.

In the periods I was active in my eating disorder, I used this as validation. Sometimes it was validation that others noticed me, that I was “thin enough”, or that I was better than those looking at me. Other times I was filled with fear as I saw concern in the eyes of others, or I felt like I needed to cover and hide my body. In each situation, my mind was berated by the thoughts that my body is what matters to other people, that I will only be as good as what I present to be, and that I am validated by my body size. Even after beginning recovery, others use judgments of my body to determine how “well” I am.

In the times I felt more at home in my body, I got angry when others would scan me. I despised that my body was being scrutinized by someone who doesn’t know my story or who I am. I grew frustrated by the fact that no matter how I looked, it would never be good enough to meet an arbitrary ideal. And the cherry on top – I developed a resentment that it was always other women who chose to subject me to these body scans and scrutiny.

Now, I am empowered to put my thoughts to the ears of women around me and say that enough is enough. Please don’t body scan me. Please don’t body check others. Please don’t body scan yourself. This practice only perpetuates the idea that my body isn’t perfect, her body isn’t enough, and your body isn’t worthy of love and respect.

Instead, give a compliment to someone whose outfit is unique; comment on laughter; ask about interests and inspirations; point out the energy that enters a room when they arrive. Spread the positive notions of embracing unique bodies and expressions.

We have the power to break the imposed lies that our bodies need to change to be beautiful. Put an end to judging others and comparing yourself. It only brings hurt and frustration.

Please stop body-scanning me. For me. For you. And for all the women around us.

A Word About Body Scanning

Please don’t body scan me. You don’t need to scrape over my body, head to toe, and analyze me with your eyes.
Please don’t take in the size of my arms, the shape of my stomach, or the curve of my legs. You don’t need to judge me by the look of my body.

Please don’t make assumptions about my lifestyle, my choices, or my morality by the shape of my body. It’s unfair and based on ideal images of beauty.

Please don’t default to the snap judgments that accompany the societal implications of what it means to have a body that doesn’t fit ideals.
Please don’t justify or validate the size of your body based on the size of mine. You don’t need to compare or despair.

Please don’t minimize my existence or your relevance based on how we each look, move, or present. You don’t know my story based on the size of my hips or the structure of my body.